If you succumb to the Negative Nancys in your life, they will suck the wind right out of your sails!
Negativity is exhausting! There will always be those around you that thrive on drama, and if they can’t find drama, they will create it. If someone else is successful, or happy, they will try to tear them down, just to bring them to their level. Beware! You need to keep those people at arms length, for the sake of your own sanity!
Every where you go these days someone wants to drain you of whatever good vibes you have going on in your life, friends on Facebook, and Twitter, even family! That’s the beauty of it – if it gets to be too much, block them! Yes, even certain family members! It’s just not worth it, and in a way, it keeps the peace, if they can’t spread their hate and drama on your page, then it keeps you out of their crosshairs!
I know what you’re going to say – “family is everything, no matter what, they’re your family, so you have to put up with it!” No! You don’t! Just because you’re related doesn’t give them Carte Blanche to run over you with a Mack Truck, any time they wish!
Family should lift you up, not drag you down, they should be the ones you can always count on, in your time of need, the first ones you go to, to celebrate your successes, a shelter from what ever storms come your way.
I have a very small circle of family that I would give my life for, and they would do the same for me – my husband, my kids (and their significant other), and my grandkids.
Where are my parents and siblings on this list, you might be asking? I love my parents. I lost my dad several years ago, and my mom knows that she can call on me, whenever she needs to, and I will be there, but twenty three years ago, my parents decided that I wasn’t worth the time it would take to have a discussion about how they felt, or to let me know I had upset them.
Growing up my dad called me his “Pride and Joy”, and my mom knew she could always count on her goody two-shoes, straight-A student.
So I’m coasting along in my adulthood, and thought I had a great relationship with my parents, and BAM! I’m hit by a ton of bricks! They stopped talking to me for eight years, over some trivial perceived mistake on my part, that they couldn’t forgive. They wouldn’t discuss it, didn’t call me up to yell at me – nothing.
I couldn’t figure out what I had done! None of my brothers or sisters knew what I had done. Eventually, my brother Bobby, who was dying of cancer, asked what it was – why were they so angry at me, and it was all about a time that I was supposed to come to visit, and either didn’t show up, or was late! Eight years thrown away, just like that! They missed watching my youngest son grow up, for the first eight years of his life, my three other children missed out on visits to their grandparents, all over something stupid! Everyone got punished, for the alleged crime that I had committed!
When something like that happens, it changes everything you thought you knew about a person, and your relationship morphs into something completely different. When trust is lost, it’s very difficult to regain. My parents were no longer my safe haven, I was left out in the storm, and had learned to survive without them.
Then one day my mother called me. My father was in a motorcycle accident, so I came to his side, even chancing that I would be rejected, but I had to take that chance for my own emotional wellbeing. It shouldn’t have taken a crisis to bring us back together.
I forgave my parents, even though they never spoke of “the incident”, or apologized, and we had a couple of years of civility, but it was never the same again. I’m glad that I had that time, though, before my father passed away. I went to see him the day before, and he had gotten to the point before you pass away, where you can hear, but you can’t speak, and as I’m telling him goodbye, and that I would be back the next day, I could see that he was wanting to tell me something, but he could only groan, and blink. Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to forgive, or make things right. I will never know what he wanted to tell me.
As for my siblings, the only ones I had any kind of relationship with, we’re my two oldest brothers, and they have both passed away. My other brother and two sisters, probably wouldn’t shed a tear for me, if I were gone tomorrow. Growing up, my parents never encouraged us to get along, or to be each other’s best friends, and any animosity between us, was met with an “oh well” kind of attitude.
I raised my children completely different. Name calling was never allowed, if you were angry, you made up, and forgave each other. I made sure they understood that there might be times when your siblings are your only friends, and they should always watch out for each other.
I consider myself to be a happy person, sure I have my bad days, but for the most part, my life is good, and it’s all due to creating that fence for Negative Nancy!
Good fences, make for good neighbors!
Thanks for stopping by!