It’s just another day, right… wrong!
How many times today, did I have to write 9/21? Each time having the sting of it over and over again, making me pause for a moment, that day’s events running through my mind in a flash of painful images.
Today started out like any other day, and it started the same way nineteen years ago, also. Little did I know then, that it would change just about everything about me, causing me to morph into someone new. On the outside I look the same, but not in my heart, and mind, or how I process life’s challenges.
Just thinking about writing this post, and all of the emotions it brings to the surface, is causing me heart palpitations. I don’t want to think about it – 9/21, but I also don’t ever want to forget.
It’s just a number…
To most it is just a number, but for me, it’s a date for reflection, remembrance, and sorrow. You see, this is the day my big brother Bobby was taken from me, far too soon, and I have not been the same since.
Losing him was, and still is, the most difficult experience of my life. I’ve lost other people close to me since – my father, and my brother Danny, and I’m not saying that I loved them less than my brother Bobby, just different.
Bobby had that quiet way of making you feel like you were the most important person he could be talking to, at that moment. He was bashful, but witty, and charming when you could get him out of his shell.
He was loyal, never held a grudge, and loved for life. If you were fortunate enough to have him as a friend, you could always count on him. He was my best friend growing up, and even though he was nine years older than me, he took me everywhere with him, and not because he had to.
There will always be at least one person in your life, that you can’t bare to lose, and for me, one of those people, was Bobby.
My husband’s grandmother lived to be 103 years old, and until the day she passed, she mourned her younger brother that was lost in WWII, more than 70 years ago! She talked about him almost every time we visited her, so Joseph was that special person for her.
My 10 year old grandson lost a classmate this week to a tragic accident with her horse. I know that 9/18 will be that dreaded number for her parents, brother, family and friends. I pray that they will somehow get to a place of Peace, and comfort.
So how long does it take to get past the grief, and sting of losing a loved one? I’ll let you know when it happens for me, but I’m nineteen years and counting, and some days it still hurts like yesterday.
My expiration date will be around 2070, since I should be long gone by then.
I’ll see you again someday, Bobby!