Fifty Shades of Family

Family comes in different shades and various degrees of loyalty.

You have black – those are the ones that you know don’t like you, and won’t ever be there if you need help, but they’ll be there to watch you fall flat on your face! In most cases these are the family members that don’t really know you, and have formed an opinion of you influenced by jealousy of what you have, or who they think you are.

Then there’s white – you know that they love you for who you are, and will always be supportive no matter how many times you fall flat on your face. You would assume that your parents would fall into this category, but not always; more times than not, they are in the grey area.

I hope that my children consider me to be their white champion – always there to cheer them on, or help them up!

For most of my life, I’ve been lost in the grey area, never knowing for sure who I could count on, whose face would I see in the stands cheering me on?

Growing up, I had one White Knight, my older brother Bobby. Bobby taught me so many things, and even though there was a nine year difference in our ages, he took me everywhere with him. He comforted me when I was scared by storms, and taught me how to tell time on his watch to distract me from the roar of thunder. He always had a positive attitude, a witty sense of humor, and a quick smile when you needed it.

I lost my champion nineteen years ago this month, taken from us far too soon, at the age of 42.

I want to be like my brother, always a friend, there for the people I love, when the chips are down, someone they can count on.

I do not have the time, or the desire, to let negative people into my life, even if they call themselves family.

They say blood is thicker than water, and they’re right, blood will sometimes weigh you down, while water flows around you allowing you to float.

Family should be there to lift you up, wrapping you in their support, sheltering you from harm, not the first to draw blood.

We can’t choose our family, and we can’t change them, but we don’t have to let unhealthy relationships get in the way of our happiness.

Be the white light for your family.


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